A Wake-up Call for the Soul

Excerpt: I can so easily miss the beauty right in front of me. How? I get distracted by the life I want and don’t have. Or by the life I have but don’t want. So I miss what it is I really want most: God. The same God who wants me.

I have some creative friends who color outside the lines. I paint by number. They think original thoughts. I Google. They’re easily fascinated. I’m easily bored. At the time of this story, they were all under six. And I was sixty. But they said I could stay. Kids see life with wide-eyed wonder. Me? I squint a lot. So they catch what I miss.
 
Example: I showed them photos from a stop in Honduras. A monkey on my wife’s head.And a parrot on my arm. Holly was quite impressed. Weeks later she asked me, 'So Jack, was it exciting for you in the jungle?' I wasn't sure how to answer her.
 
Actually, I was not impressed with our ‘jungle’ visit. The ad billed it as a ‘destination dream’ with an ‘animal sanctuary’ and ‘a treasure for everyone’. Also known as a tourist trap. Holding 1 frisky monkey, 2 senile birds and my money. I was frustrated.
    
But Holly saw the ‘treasure’ I missed. It perched on my arm for a minute. And on her mind for weeks. ‘So Jack! Was it exciting?!’ You know, kids might be easily impressed.  But it doesn’t mean they’re naïve. It could be they’re more perceptive.
 
I looked closer at my photo. The scarlet macaw is a brightly colored beautiful bird!

I’m the one who held it. But Holly ‘saw’ it. Her wide-eyed wonder is for me a wonder in itself. Her awestruck expression reminded me of a much younger me.    
 
I want my wide-eyed wonder back! I take so much for granted. Especially God.
 
I recently noticed in the Gospels how often people were ‘astonished’ after meeting Jesus. He affected them. Deeply. I thought back to Holly’s look of wonder and thought “This same Jesus is with me! I 'hold' Him. Why am I not amazed by Him?!”

The critical issue today is dullness. We have lost our astonishment.
The greatest enemy of Christianity may be people who say they
believe in Jesus but who are no longer astonished and amazed.
Mike Yaconelli

How is it that I can know such a beautiful Christ and not be affected by His glory? And how is it that l held such a magnificent creature yet failed to notice it’s beauty?

I think for me it’s a matter of focus. What is it that captures and holds my attention?

Magicians use a technique called misdirection to pull our attention from the secret behind their trick. To conceal the action of their left hand, they'll tell a fascinating story about the eye-catching object in their right hand. If they can keep us fixated on the story or object, it’s all we see. It's the same way we miss a lot of stuff in life.

Which is why I never saw the macaw’s stunning beauty even though I held it. I was so focused on what I thought was missing, I missed what was there. The treasure I expected to see blinded me to the one in front of me. I do the same thing in life.

I either fixate on the life I want but don’t have or the life I have but don’t want. And I miss my life. Ps.42:8 And ‘the God of my life’. As Jacob missed ‘the God of Jacob’.
 
How does he miss God? He chases a life he wants but doesn’t have (Isaac’s blessing and Esau’s birthright). But once he gets the life he wants, he doesn’t want the life he gets (shame, Esau’s revenge, Isaac’s rejection). He's now a fugitive.  One night he lays down to sleep. His mind occupied with what he loves most: Jacob.

In his lowest moment, God shows up. In a dream. He's come to make a covenant. And to make a friend. I think the ladder of angels (messengers) is a message in itself. Telling us God wants to talk. He wants a heart to heart conversation with us.   

The ladder isn’t there for you to climb up. It’s for God to come down. Which He has. (Jn 1:14, 51) Like Jacob, God is also consumed with what He loves most: you.

My brother Mark painted the following. The quote below is his commentary on it.
Though clearly reminiscent of Jacob's encounter with God, this it not a reflection on Jacob's story. But rather his own response to the overwhelming mercy of God.

I dreamed of feet passing back + forth in the air over my head while I lay on my back weeping tears of ecstatic joy. I knew these feet belonged to angels who  were looking for me. I was overwhelmed with joy to know that I am so loved and hunted.
Mark Anderson

I've always loved this story. The idea of God coming down to talk with a man  fascinates me. It also intrigues me because the Hebrew root for my name is ‘Jacob’. (I must admit. I was disappointed to find that ‘Jack’ means ‘supplanter or deceiver’.)
 
I’m often asked if my real name is ‘John’. I wish. Who doesn’t want to be like ‘John the Beloved’? But no. My namesake is ‘Jacob the Deceiver’. A liar and manipulator. Yet I hurt for Jacob. I wonder if the blessing he really wanted was the love of a father.
 
I never posed as my brother, but I did try to change my name once. I had a speech impediment as a boy. And went to speech therapy. Called myself ‘Thack’ instead of ‘Jack’. One day as my father coached me, I said “Why don’t you just call me Bill?”
 
I still try to change my name. Rather than own my stuff or look myself in the heart, I call myself ‘John’. Pretending I’m closer to God than I am. And love Him more than I do. But the only way I'll ever change is to own my stuff by owning my name. Ge.32:27
 
If honest, the man I want to be is not the man I appear to be. I am Jacob. Not John.

Learning to own my name is healing me. I’m even starting to love the name ‘Jacob’. There’s a sweet peace in getting real with God and with myself. To say 'I am Jacob'.

Despite what my ego wants you to think, I am more like Jacob than I care to admit. I can appear kind and humble though I'm selfish and proud. As artificial as veneer.  I can also come across as very spiritual while knowing 'things are not as they seem’.  

In spite of it all, God keeps visiting. Especially on the nights I feel most unworthy. And like my brother I feel ‘overwhelmed with joy to know I am so loved and hunted.’

I love Jacob’s response after meeting God. He says “How awesome is this place!  This is none other than the house of God. This is the gate of Heaven.” Gen.28:17

Talk about a wake up call! Jacob’s soul was on fire! Meeting God will do that. His heart woke up as he did. "Surely the Lord is in this place and I was not aware of it!"

“We cannot attain the presence of God.
We’re already totally in the presence of God.
What’s absent is awareness.” 
Richard Rohr

Though God has always been with me, I've lived without that awareness for years.  Convincing myself I'm alone. Living each day unaware of His presence or His love. 

But thanks to Holly and a scarlet macaw, I’m more aware of Him than I was.   And more convinced than ever that the greatest treasure God can give us is Himself. And He has! To think I hold such a treasure in this clay jar! ‘Yes Holly, it is exciting!!’

Question for reflection: In what way have you missed the treasure in front of you?