Seeing Myself through Eyes of Mercy

Excerpt: Jesus sees our sin but it doesn’t change his love for us or our worth in His eyes.  If an appraiser pays a million for my old lamp, my view of the lamp changes. The price God paid to have me is His Son.

“Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways
Look at me instead through eyes of mercy…” Psalms 25:6,7 NLB

I want to see me as I really am. As God sees me. But it's hard to do that if the mirror I use doesn't tell the truth.
What you see in a distorted mirror will likewise be distorted. What I see in this mirror is not the truth of who I am.
For years I trusted my view of me more than God’s. As a result I never saw any good in me and felt unworthy of love.
(For more on this topic, see my previous post 'Maybe my Mirror is Wrong'. )
 
But God saw me differently.  He bent down to help me see myself as He does. Through eyes of mercy.  The root word for ‘mercy’ in the OT is ‘chanan’ which means ‘to bend or stoop in kindness’. He did just that by sending three people to pull the mirror of truth out of the backroom and slide it in front of my eyes. These dear servants turned a light on. In that light, I saw His mercy in a way I never had. And the sight of His mercy is changing my view of Him. And me.
 
I'm grateful to my daughter Cherish, her friend Donna Oh and Dale Anderson, a pastor and author of 'Mercy Wins'. 
Dale taught a Bible College class on the book of James my daughter attended. She thought I'd love it and asked me to sit in a class. Since it was a daytime class, I kept putting it off.  But she kept asking.  So I went and I'm so glad I did.

Dale’s subject that day was the Mercy of God as seen in the book of James. I thought I understood the love of God well. But as Dale and others spoke of mercy, it felt like I was seeing God's heart for the first time. Dale let students pick which essay assignment to write on. One was to write about a comment Donna made in our discussion that day. 

“Mercy costs nothing to the one who receives it.  But it costs everything to the one who gives it.”
Donna Oh

I wanted to understand mercy. I wasn't a student but wrote an essay on Donna's quote. (The inspiration for this post)
Ever been in a dark room on a sunny day when someone pulls open the curtains? That's what it felt like for me as  I jumped into an earnest study of God's mercy and wrestled with Donna's observation. I thought I knew God quite well, but this study changed my view of God. Months later, I noticed that the way I saw myself was also changing.
 
I know we can't earn God’s love. But deep down I've always held a belief that I'll never be loved in the way I long to be unless I'm worth loving. Or said another way: 'Unless I'm good enough to be loved or unless I deserve to be loved.'
But an equally toxic mindset is to think we are worthy of His favor and deserve His love. Truth is: We are unworthy.
Before you call me a heretic, hear me out. In the sense of deserving love or grace or mercy, we don't deserve any of it.

There’s a difference between having worth and being worthy. To be worthy of an honor offered means we deserve it. 
We deserve death. We don’t deserve to be forgiven or adopted. But being worthy is not the same as having worth.

God makes it clear through His words and deeds that we have worth. He came to earth to make us His! We all were ‘in sin and error pining til He appeared and the soul felt it’s worth’. Why? He came for us! We know an item’s value by its cost. The price God paid to have us is the life of His Son! He says ‘Are you not of more value than the birds?’
 
I have worth! The confusion comes from thinking that if I’m unworthy (undeserving) of love, I must not have worth.  
Growing up with a fairly legalistic view of the Gospel, I knew I was sinful and that I don't deserve anything from God.
Which is why I find it hard to receive anything from God! Including His love. Why? I don’t deserve it! Which is true. God agrees. Yet He came to earth for me. Died for me. Not because I deserve it. But because in His eyes, I’m worth it!

Look at the opening Scripture above. Before David asks God to see him 'through eyes of mercy', he first asks God to not remember his sins. He knows he deserves judgment for his sin, yet he asks God to show him mercy and He does!

“Mercy costs nothing to the one who receives it. 
But it costs everything to the one who gives it.”
Donna Oh

Let's look at Donna's statement. I knew right away it was Biblically sound and true. That is, I knew it in my head. But the truth of it hadn't yet reached my heart. I had too much unlearning to do before I could ever see this truth as true.
 
In his book ‘Mercy Wins’, Dale Anderson spoke of an ‘unstated rule’ many live by. This rule tells us “we must deserve mercy before we get mercy”. I’ve never believed God’s love can be earned. Yet Dale's insight made me admit that I've lived most of my life in slavery to this ‘unstated rule’. I can describe mercy. Preach it. I know it! In theory. But to receive it from God directly is different. As different as studying a kiss and being kissed by my lover for the first time.
 
For most of my life, I’ve believed the lie that if I want to be loved, I must prove to you that I’m worthy of love.  It’s the same as thinking mercy must be merited or paid for.  Mercy does come at a price, but the cost is  paid by the giver.  Not the receiver. So I'll look at the 2nd statement first. I'll appreciate a free gift more if I know what it costs the giver.

Mercy costs everything for the one who gives it.
Mercy is free and cost us nothing.  But it's given at great cost by the One who offers it.
Here are a few Scriptures and my thoughts on the cost of giving mercy: for us and for God.
I’ll focus first on what it costs us to give others mercy and then what it costs God to give us mercy.

WHAT DOES IT COST US TO GIVE OTHERS MERCY?   
“He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him.” John 1:11  
 “The servant is not greater than his lord.  If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you” John 15:20

There’s always a cost for the one giving mercy. Because the love behind the gift is not always seen as love.   
If we love like Jesus, we can expect to be rejected like Jesus. Especially by the very people we've chosen to love.
Will we keep loving people if they keep rejecting our love, keep taking it for granted or keep acting entitled to it?
When the greedy or self-centered take advantage of our mercy, can we remain merciful and kind in spite of it?

Genuine mercy requires nothing of the beloved, not gratitude or appreciation. I may want it but I won't demand it.
God will keep showing us mercy even if he knows we’ll never thank Him for it.  Why?  It's simple. We need it.

But how does He do it? How does He keep showing mercy when we use it as needed and take it for granted?
It’s because He’s merciful. That’s just the way He is. He is not immune to the emotional pain of ingratitude or
the sting of being taken advantage of by those you love. No one likes to be taken advantage of. That includes God.
Yet He will endure ingratitude rather than withhold His kindness. Why? We need it. It's just what mercy does.

Mercy people simply love you. Not because you love them first. Not because you love them back.
They just love you.
Not because you deserve their love. Not because of anything you do or don’t do.
You cannot merit, earn, buy or win their love by your acts of righteousness.
Nor does your deliberate sin cause you to forfeit, lose or jeopardize their love.
Mercy people love you before you ever do a good thing.
They also love you if you never do anything good.
 
They don’t need anything from you in order to love you.
Nor will anything you do or fail to do make them stop loving you.
There is nothing you can do to change their love for you.
Why?  Their love for you is not a response to something they see in you.
It’s based on something they feel deep inside their hearts.  They simply love you.
 
Mercy people demonstrate that love every single day.
No matter what you do to them.
Why would they do that?
They love you. 
So they show it …..
In how they act toward you, in how they react to you and in how they see you.

They respond to you in the most loving way they're capable of.
Sometimes in their love, they say ‘no’ because you need it.
Or they rebuke you, challenge you or hold you accountable because you need that too.
They may not rescue you, but let you take responsibility for your actions if that’s what’s best for you.
Whatever it is you truly need most in a given moment, that’s what they care most about.
 
It’s comes with the territory when you decide to be a merciful person.
You don’t pick and choose the people who are easy to love.
Nor do you pick and choose which aspects of the person you’ll love.
You know up front that you are committed to the whole person…the good & bad.
 
Loving someone unconditionally isn’t easy. 
Showing mercy may prove to be the hardest thing you’ve ever done in your life.
You can count on the fact that you will be wounded by the very ones you choose to love. 
And the deepest wounds will most likely not come by deliberate attacks or cruel words.
They’ll come more subtly as you are ignored, overlooked and taken for granted. 
Are you still in?
 
It’s often the people closest to us that are the most difficult to love.
Samuel Smiles said “those nearest to us are those who reveal our true character”.
If anyone will find it easy to take us for granted, it’ll be those we spend the most time with.
Loving the one who uses you, yet neglects you or acts indifferent to you is anything but easy. 

It’s easy to boldly claim we’ll die for our mates, our children or our close friends.
But when our sacrifices are not acknowledged or our kindness is not appreciated,
it's understandable and natural for my kindness, patience or gentleness to lose its momentum.
That's why loving people like God is a supernatural act. You can't love like God apart from God.

If you greedily use my kindness to get out of trouble with no intention of changing, can I still be kind?
 
God can. He puts up with the absence of gratitude on a daily basis.
Yet He won't let me manipulate Him. Nor cripple my growth by doing everything for me.
All the while He keeps on loving me. And being there for me.  He refuses to cut me off.
Why? Because I’m His child, I need help and He’s a good father. Who loves me.

Sometimes good Fathers say ‘No’ when a “No” is more loving than a “Yes”.
They’ll even say it when the child interprets any “No” as a refusal to love them. 
Good wise fathers know when saying ‘No’ is the most loving thing they can do.
And if needed, they’ll keep on saying it, even when their love is misunderstood.        
It’s just what love does. It’s the sign of a caring, merciful, unselfish heart.
 
When the ones you love don’t care if you love them, can you keep loving them?
That’s what it means to 'be merciful as your Father in Heaven is merciful'.
 
Can we give up our right to get even or exact our own justice?  Mercy can. 
Can we risk our brother’s favor when love calls us to rebuke him? Mercy can.
Can we love him enough to not let him hurt or sabotage himself?  Mercy can. 
Can we hold to the boundaries he needs even if he hates us for it?  Mercy can.
Can we keep forgiving the relative who will likely wound us again? Mercy can.
Can we still love the sinner if they mistake our mercy for tolerance? Mercy can. 
Can we still love the sinner if they refuse to turn away from their sin?  Mercy can.
Can we take a public stand alongside a tax collector, harlot or thief? Mercy can.
Can we live with the scandal if we refuse to heap shame on the sinner? Mercy can.
Can we refuse to give up on the hard to love people God won't give up on?  Mercy can.

Can you catch a glimpse of what it costs to show others mercy?
That's but a fraction of what it costs God to keep showing us 'new mercies' every day.

 Jesus said 'Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful'.
Jesus was merciful. And He calls us to be.
Not to merely do acts of mercy, but to be people of mercy.
The gift of mercy comes at a great cost to the giver. But it's worth it.
When you truly love the one who needs it, it doesn't feel like a great cost.

I don’t know about you, but when I consider the ‘mercy way’, I’m not sure I can do it. Well actually, I know I can’t.
I’ll show people mercy, extend forgiveness. If it's not expected too often. I’ll even be kind to the offender. As long as they show some gratitude or appreciation and don't take advantage of me. But true mercy people are FULL of mercy.

I will confess that most of the time, my ‘mercy tank’ is running on fumes.  I can show a little mercy here and there.  But mercy doesn’t flow so freely from me as it does from Christ. It comes in irregular spurts. As I often withhold it.  But God is FULL of mercy. I'm not. I can’t be merciful unless He fills me with His love. It takes God to love like God.
'We know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.' Ro. 5:5  

 ‘Then Jesus said to his host, "When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends,
your brothers or relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid.   But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind. Then at the resurrection of the righteous, God will reward you for inviting those who could not repay you." Luke 14: 12-14

What will it cost us to show mercy? I think Jesus would answer us by saying ‘It doesn’t matter what it will cost you!
It only matters that mercy doesn’t cost the one who needs it’. Why does Jesus want us to invite those who can't repay us? I think He wants the poor to know the joy of a banquet they never thought possible. And He wants us to know the joy of giving a banquet free of charge. Yes it’s costly to show mercy. But the heart that's truly merciful doesn’t even think much about the cost. What matters to them is that mercy is offered to those who need it. Whatever the cost.
 
A pastor I once served with has a son who was born with esophageal atresia. He  spent most of his early years in the hospital. He had 40+ surgeries with many of them being major. His medical bills exceeded ten million at the time. And everyday his Dad faced the reality that his son's life depended on these surgeries. He also knew he'd likely be in debt the rest of his life. But you'd never know it if you saw him. He chose to trust God and chose to hold on to hope.
 
At news of yet another surgery, his first concern was that the surgery would be successful.  But the additional debt never deterred him from agreeing to more costly surgeries if needed. Why? It’s not that he didn't care about the debt. He was deeply concerned about it. The reason he could stay unfazed if his son required a new surgery was that his priorities were clear. There's simply no cost too high if your son’s need is critical and his life and future depend on it.
 
God feels this way about our need of mercy. He knows how crucial mercy is. But like a child who's clueless as to how urgent his health issues are or why he needs surgery, we have no idea just how much we need the mercy of God every waking minute. As a fish needs water and a plant needs soil, a shame laden heart simply can't survive without mercy.

So when the Trinity held counsel together and decided "Let Us make man in our image", they counted the cost of what it would take to adopt us. They agreed that we were worth it and that no cost was too high to have us in their family. To be merciful like our Father is to have the same heart for others. To invite them in like we were invited in.  They need mercy! What matters is that they get it. What it will cost from us to make that happen is truly secondary.

If a dying man needs a new heart, the donor’s heart is crucial for his survival. The dying man's life and everything he loves depends on receiving this new heart. He not only needs it in the time leading up to surgery. He will need that heart every day. He can't live a day longer unless that heart keeps pumping life giving blood throughout his body. What blood is to the body, God's mercy is to the heart.  The reason His mercy is new each day is we need it every day.

"Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this:
The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease.
Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning."
Lamentations 3:21-23

 WHAT DOES IT COST GOD TO GIVE US MERCY?      

It cost the Son the agony of taking our sin upon himself.
It cost the Father the agony of asking His Son to do so & watching Him obey.

God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. 2 Co 5:21

Jesus became sin for us and his Father asked him to. How dreadful it was for the Holy Son to take our sin upon himself and for the Holy Father to watch it happen. What was it like for the Father to pour out the wrath we deserved on His innocent son, who did not deserve it?  Why would each of them agree to this? They knew that nothing less could atone for our sins. It would take nothing less to show us mercy. To remove our sin. And bring us home to Him.

It cost the Son the rejection of those He longed to redeem.
It cost the Father the rejection of those He longed to adopt.
It cost each of them the agony of witnessing our rejection of the other.

John 1:11 “He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him.”

This verse assures me that I become God’s child if I receive His Son. Each 'yes' brings great joy to both Father and Son. But millions have also brought them great sorrow. They’ve rejected the Father’s offer of adoption and the Son’s costly give of redemption. I have a friend who went through the long process of adopting a child from Poland.  Near the end, the child decided to stay at the orphanage.  She no longer wanted to be adopted.  My friend’s pain was deep.

Ever felt the sting of rejection from someone you loved? The Father's felt it a million times over yet He keeps offering a home to orphans, even those who keep saying ‘No’. Why does He keep setting Himself up for more rejection? He knows there's a chance you might say ‘Yes’.  And for Him, the slightest chance of you saying 'Yes’ is worth waiting for.

It cost the Son the brief yet unthinkable pain of separation from His Father.
It cost the Father the terrible agony of turning His face away from His Son.

“About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?”,
which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”.  Matthew 27:46

Jesus took our sin upon himself along with the just punishment our sin deserves. He took the full brunt of God’s wrath against sin so you and I wouldn't have to. He embraced the horror of separation from the Father He loved. So we wouldn't have to. His anticipation of this separation is the reason for His intense emotional stress in the garden.

Can we tear a baby boy from mother’s arms, then ask him not to grieve? Or ask the mother not to cry? They are one!
Can we snatch a bride from her groom and expect no cries of agony from both of them? Of course not! They are one!
Can the Son endure any worse agony than being torn from His Father’s presence? Will He not cry out? They are one!
 
We see the Son’s pain. But consider the Father’s. We murdered His Son. The One He sent to redeem us and adopt us.
It is our sin that made this terrible moment of separation necessary. And it's our sin that made the moment terrible.

Yet Jesus didn't have to endure this moment. He could have opted out. But He didn't. He chose to love. He chose us.
Though everything in him despised the sin that would be placed on him. And though everything in him hated the thought of even the briefest moment apart from His Father, the Son said ‘Yes’. He walked resolutely to Jerusalem. Into the most terrible moment that God or man could ever face. Why? So you and I would never face such a moment.
 
Such love breaks my heart.  It convicts me of how easily I take His mercy for granted. It stirs up a prayer in my soul.
'God, forgive me for how I take your presence for granted. When I consider what you did so I could draw near you and then consider how seldom I do, it pains me! I’ve sought every other blessing than the one for which you died.
You didn’t die just so I could live. But so I could live with you! Yet I have time for everything and everyone but you.
 
My avoidance of prayer reveals how much I’ve taken your presence for granted. You gave your life to be with me.
Yet like the disciples, I consider it too great a price to give you a single hour. Forgive me Father. Forgive me Jesus.”

             It cost the Son the relinquishing of divine privileges to become our servant.                     
           It cost the Father the pain of asking His Son to relinquish those privileges.  
                 
 "Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man,  he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death, even death on a cross."
Philippians 2: 6-8 
                                                                                                                       
Mercy: ‘to bend or stoop in kindness’.  Can a transcendent God bend lower than He did in a Bethlehem stable?
Yes.    On a hill called Golgotha.

It cost the Son His life.
It cost the Father the life of His Son.

  “For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold
that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your ancestors,
but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect.” 1 Peter 1:18-19

Could any higher price be paid for us than the lifeblood of God’s only Son?
Together they counted the cost that mercy would require from each of them.
Together they agreed to pay whatever it would take to redeem and adopt us.  
And together they paid the ultimate price.

What exactly is the ultimate price?  Peter gives us a clue in the verse above. He compares the value of silver and gold to the value of Christ's blood. He does this so we won’t miss the obvious. Can any created thing have more value than the One who created it? The value of a life, especially the life of God will obviously far exceed the value of anything God made. Peter is declaring that when God redeemed us with the life of His Son, He paid the highest price possible.

WHY WOULD GOD PAY MERCY’S ULTIMATE PRICE?

Hear Donna's words again. 'Mercy costs nothing to the one who receives it, but everything to the one who gives it'.
To understand the why behind Christ's sacrifice links Donna’s two statements together and unlocks their meaning.
 
If I can see why God paid such a price, I may also see why I don’t need to. Perhaps I’ll quit trying to earn His love.
There are solid doctrinal answers to the question of why He’d give His life for us. (ie: justification, redemption, et.)
For me, I didn't catch God's reasons for Calvary by studying doctrine. I saw it while studying His passions. What He
thinks. What He loves. What He wants. That study showed me 3 reasons why He would pay such a high price for us. 

He sees our worth.

Let’s say I was given an antique porcelain lamp by my father before his death. To me it’s a cheap outdated eyesore that's basically worthless. Yet I still include it in my father’s estate auction with other hand me downs. A few antique dealers attend and the bidding for this ‘eyesore’ climbs higher than I thought possible. Bidding closes at a million. The buyer’s face tells me he got the better deal. I suddenly have a new view of this lamp that I considered worthless. 

In the eyes of the antique dealer, the lamp was rare, unique and priceless. To me it was an average, outdated and worthless lamp. But once an expert, who knew its value paid a million dollars for it, my opinion of the lamp changed. This worthless lamp that I took for granted I now see as priceless. What changed my view of it?  The price paid for it. 
 
In the same way I was given a life, a face, a personality and a name as a gift from my Heavenly Father and earthly father.  But after a lifetime of failure, sin and regret, my opinion of this life is quite negative.  All I see is the years I spent trying to improve it and how little I have to show for my investment. I look at my average life, my average face, my average skill and my less than average achievements and my long string of failures. And I label myself ‘worthless’.
 
So there I am on the auction block of people pleasing. Asking bidders to affirm my worth. I hope the bidding climbs but I know it likely won't even start. Why would anyone bid at all? Surely they see what I see in the mirror every day.
 
But God sees me too. Though my self-doubts have sent me searching for affirmation, He runs after me. His heart is full of compassion as He wraps His arms around me. Why? He sees something in me that I can’t see. He knows me so much better than I know myself, yet loves me so deeply.  He clearly sees something of worth in me that I can't see.

I may not see what the buyers see in my lamp. But I will still value the lamp differently if I remember the price paid.  Jesus said 'When you drink this cup, remember me." The reminder of His sacrifice will also remind us of our worth. Seeing ourselves as God sees us is an ongoing process. There will be days when doubts return and I question my worth. But often the doubts return because I question my worth. That's why I must only trust trustworthy appraisers.

And I am not one of them. My self-appraisals are rarely accurate. I'll appraise myself with the same eyes I appraise my lamp. Which I leave off the estate sale, sell it for $3 at a garage sale and later find it sold for 2 million at auction.  I am not the best appraiser of my worth. The only one qualified to appraise my worth is the one who created me and then paid a price to redeem me. The reason I can't be my own judge is I'm not qualified to be. My judgment is too skewed by sin and shame. I must leave the appraising to God and stop assuming I know myself better than He does.

So God pays the ultimate price. To adopt me and make me His. Why?  He loves me! He thinks I'm worth it! If we could see our value from His point of view and believe it, maybe we wouldn't be so driven by this need to prove ourselves. We might not be so performance driven. And maybe we could finally stop our striving and rest in His love.

He Delights in Us

For the Lord takes delight in his people; he crowns the humble with victory.  
Psalm 149:4

I have spent decades of my life caught in the trap of people pleasing and feeling like I could never measure up.
One thing that would calm my anxious heart is when someone voiced their approval of me or something I did.
It’s natural to want affirmation. But I became dependent on it. I needed your approval to feel good about me.

During that time, the Lord led me to Psalms 149:4 ‘For the Lord delights in his people’. Not once but many times.
I understood it, but I didn’t know why I needed it. ‘Why this verse? What’s your point?’ A year later I realized why.
I've craved the approval of men far too much. I would daydream of receiving some honor: confirmation of my worth. 
But daydreams will disappoint if they're rooted in a lie. And here’s the lie: I can't feel good about me unless you do.  

I now realize that this false belief is why God kept leading me to Ps. 149:4. One day I randomly opened my Bible. Guess where? Ps.149. For the 100th time. I was mad. "What?! OK, I get it! You delight in your people. You crown the humble. I know that! So why keep saying what I already know!?” Then I saw the next verse I had somehow missed.

Let his faithful people rejoice in this honor and sing for joy on their beds. 
Psalm 149:5

I was struck by the phrase ‘rejoice in this honor’. Which begs a question: ‘Rejoice in what honor?’ The answer is in vs. 4. The verse God kept directing me to over the last year. I finally heard what God had been trying to say all along.

  "Jack, I want you to find your joy and worth in this honor:
That I delight in you and call you 'friend'. Can that be enough? 
Can you find your significance in knowing I'm pleased with you."  

I wish I could say I no longer seek approval from men. But 5 years later I once again needed a reminder of Psa 149.  Due to COVID's impact on our church in 2020, my Care Pastor role had to be cut to PT after 35 years in FT ministry.
I also turned 65 and soon found myself semi-retired. I supported the move but felt a loss of purpose and uncertainty as to my future. I reflected on the past as if my life is over. Not seeing the fruits of my labor, I felt like a failure. I felt  irrelevant. I compared my impact with others. I returned to my mirror (the one that lies). I thought 'This isn't where I thought I'd be at this stage'. I went back to looking for validation and honor from men. 'Tell me I'm not a failure!'
 
One day all these discouraging thoughts and hopeless feelings settled over my soul like a thousand heavy blankets.
And I thought 'I need to worship. I need to get my eyes off me and look at my Lord regardless of how I feel today."
So I did. I went to a worship service and lifted my broken heart and my disillusioned mind to the God who loves me.

I didn't ask God to speak to me, give me answers or calm my anxious soul. I just wanted to be with Him and worship.
The storm inside grew calm. In the quiet, I heard the worship leader sing 'You honor me with your love'.  I thought of Psalm 149 and remembered: The only honor I need I already have! 'He delights in me!' That's validation enough!
'For the Lord takes delight in his people ...Let his faithful people rejoice in this honor and sing for joy.' 

If you ever begin to doubt whether God really takes delight in you, consider what He sets apart as HIS inheritance. 

"For the Lord’s portion is his people; Jacob is the lot of his inheritance" Deut 32:9
“The Lord your God has chosen you to be his own special treasure!" Deut 7:6
"Blessed is …the people whom he hath chosen for his own inheritance" Psalms. 33:12

Those who know God well treasure Him far more than His gifts. Gifts are mere trinkets compared to God Himself. Moses said “If you don’t go with us into the promised land, I don’t want to go”. If you asked him “So what’s your inheritance? What do you get out of following God?”, he’d say “I get God. What more could I want?” The Levites agreed. They had no inheritance as God was their inheritance. Did they feel cheated? No! They felt greatly honored.

Now imagine Israel asking God ‘So what do YOU get out of making a covenant with us? What’s YOUR inheritance?’
                                                                    He would answer, "You! I get you!!"

That’s how Jesus feels about us! We are His portion and He's not disappointed with His portion! He's overjoyed!  He ‘gets us’! Misty Edwards compared it to a proposal. Imagine a young man proposing to His lover. When they show up at a surprise family dinner, he enters with a big smile yelling ‘She said Yes!’ That’s how Jesus feels about your ‘Yes’!

Most of us can’t see the great treasure we are to God. So we feel we have to bring some gift along to impress Him.
The only gift He wants from us is us. We may not appreciate our value. To God, there’s no greater treasure than us.
That’s why Zephaniah said “he rejoices over you with joy, he will rest in his love, he will joy over you with singing."

He loves us.
"The LORD did not set his heart on you and choose you because you were more numerous than other nations,
for you were the smallest of all nations! Rather, it was simply that the LORD loves you,” Deuteronomy 7:7,8

God loves you because He loves you. Not because you’ve earned His love. The choice to love you originates from a place deep within His heart. It’s not a response to some goodness in you. He still loves you when you’re not good. 
              
The Hebrew word for mercy is ‘racham’ which means compassion or tender love. It’s translated ‘bowels’ of mercy, It’s a strong yearning of deep affection. It’s used of Joseph when overcome at the sight of his brothers bowing before him. It is used of a mother when Solomon threatened to cut her baby in two. “She was deeply stirred over her son”. 
 
‘Racham’ also means ‘womb’: a place of deep affection where mom and baby bond. ‘Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I’ll not forget you!’ Is. 49:15

Jer. 31:20 says “Is not Ephraim my dear son, the child in whom I delight? Though I often speak against him, I still remember him. Therefore my heart yearns (racham) for him; I have great compassion for him’ declares the Lord.
 
Ask a mother to explain why she loves her child. You may get a blank stare since love, passion and desire are not easily understood, much less explained.  As Blaise Pascal said “The heart has reasons that reason cannot know.”

 We keep trying to ascertain a sense of our value or worth by looking in the mirror.
But it’s like evaluating the lamp with untrained eyes.  My appraisal is inaccurate.
We need to trust the integrity of the antique dealer if we don’t understand its value. 
It’s value is best measured by the price an expert appraiser is willing to pay for it.

God in mercy paid the highest price for us simply because He loves us that much.
When God loves us that much and pays that kind of price for undeserving sinners,
why do we think He expects us to earn His love? You can't earn a love freely given.
If we believe He loves us as much as He actually does, we won’t strive to earn it.

Since mercy 'costs everything to the one who gives it', that's why it 'costs nothing to the one who receives it'.

Humble child-like faith accepts the appraiser’s estimation as an accurate appraisal.
Despite any ‘proof to the contrary’. They refuse to think they know better than God.
The proud reject the Creator’s appraisal in favor of their own. Which will you be?

With the lamp story, I still want to figure out what the buyer saw in this lamp. In the same way, I resist simply accepting God's appraisal of my worth. I 'know' what I'm like. So it doesn't make sense for Him to pay such a price for me. What does He see in me?! This just breeds confusion as I see through eyes of judgment and love accordingly. He sees me through eyes of mercy and loves accordingly. I don't see myself as He sees me. Even when I see a glimpse of myself from His viewpoint, I can't hold on to it. I don't 'get it'!  So until I can I am choosing to simply believe Him. 
 
He made me and knows my value better than I. He sees the inside as well as the outside. He sees the beauty in me that I can't see. He sees all that is good and precious in me. He knows the depths of my sin better than I,  yet He also knows how much I love Him. Even on the days I please myself, He sees my desire to please Him. Which pleases Him.
 
Bottom line: He loves me. And like a good mother, God will do whatever it takes to love me. Regardless of the cost.
And regardless of whether I feel like I'm pleasing Him. What pleases Him is when I believe Him and let Him love me.
What displeases Him is when I don't. Psalm 149:11 says “The Lord delights in those who hope in His unfailing love".

Someone discovered a prayer journal dated in 1667. It belonged to Margie Kempe. She not only wrote out her prayers to Jesus. She also wrote out what she believed Jesus was saying in reply to her. Listen to one particular entry.

"My dear Margie. Far more pleasing to me than all your prayers, pleas or acts of penance
is that you would simply believe I love you."
Jesus
(From Margie Kempe’s Prayer Pournal –1667)

God seems to show up when you least expect it. He also seems to show you love when you least deserve it.   
One place I didn’t expect to run into God is at the Iowa City Public Library. Actually, He ran into me.  Deliberately.   
 
I pastored a small rural church an hour away. I had taken our family to Iowa City kids museum for a daytrip. We got there too early so we stopped at a local library. As usual, I went to the religion section. Though I didn’t feel very  religious that day. I recently had to leave a job I loved with no idea why and God wasn’t talking. So I didn’t either.
I saw His silence as absence, so I began avoiding God. I knew He must be as disappointed in me as I was with Him. 

This is where my heart was at when I picked up a book, opened it at random and saw the name ‘Jack’ on the first line. Jack was a pastor who felt just like me. The author prayed for him out of Isa 62. Here’s the gist of his prayer.  

“Father, will you help Jack see what he’s not been able to see? His failures have blurred his vision.
Show him how you feel about him. He is your son. Of royal blood. You gave him a new name. He is
not ‘forsaken’. His name is ‘Hephzibah’ for you delight in him. Help Jack see himself as you see him.” 

That library aisle suddenly became holy ground. I wept like a baby. I read it over and over.  Through a veil of tears.     
I had not called on His name for a long time.  Yet He called me by mine. I no longer asked what was on His heart.
Yet He wanted me to know that I was on His. I was finding my delight in His gifts. He still found His delight in me. Though I wasn’t seeking Him, He showed me that He was seeking me. I mean He ambushed me in a public library!
 
Friend, if you’ve lost interest in God, He’s still interested in you. If you no longer find your delight in Him, He still delights in you. He wants a friendship with you! If you doubt His love, consider the cost He paid to make you His.
When accusing thoughts batter your soul, see yourself through His eyes. Hold on to His view of you and don't let go!

'Eyes of Mercy'
When I am weak, that's when You are strong. When I let go, I fall into Your arms
I take up Your yoke, I know that it's so easy.    I take up Your burden, it's light
I look into Your eyes of mercy.   I look into your eyes of love.
I remember that Your heart, it's for me.
I'm holding on to Your Divine Love.   I'm holding on and I'm not letting go
It's not my zeal, it's that Your love is strong.  It's not my strength, it's that You're faithful.
I'm holding on to the love that has laid hold on me.
(Lyrics by Jon Thurlow)